Love and Halloween Don't Mix
by Mentality at its Worst
Summary: He could have been at home, being interrupted from his television every quarter of an hour to answer the door to find either a bunch of goblins, ninjas, ghosts, and hobos [if he was lucky, sometimes a real one.] [[MYSTERY pairing][yes, it's chaptered!]]
1. Chapter 1

My Halloween contribution for the year 2007! As well as the first chaptered fic I've done in at least three years.

My best friend and I had a conversation awhile ago, discussing a certain pairing. It was full of laughs at first, but something has gotten me interested in it. Keep in mind, this fic you're about to read is merely for laughs. The pairing should be pretty obvious to pick up and if it's not…then _damn_ am I good (or not, I could care less right now).

I wrote this fic under the influence of songs like "Into the Night" by Santana (err…Chad Kroeger), "We Danced Anyway" by Deana Carter, "Thank You Baby!", "Forever and For Always", and "When You Kiss Me" by Shania Twain. That's key, folks. (no it's not)

* * *

**Love and Halloween Don't Mix**

The hall was crowded, hot, and humid; the cold, wet air outside did not help the humidity levels in the least. The music was not necessarily loud, but strange—the this-is-too-fancy-to-be-a-rocking-party kind of strange. Everyone danced in their own, unique styles, and that would have been nice if it were not for the fact that the general scene made everyone look like they were part of a circus…actually, that would not have been as bad as everyone already physically looked like they were part of some kind of circus. So many strangers so close to each other; that was the fool-proof recipe for an uncomfortable atmosphere.

So _why_ was Phoenix here? He could have been at home, being interrupted from his television every quarter of an hour to answer the door to find either a bunch of goblins, ninjas, ghosts, and hobos (if he was lucky, sometimes a real one). After pretending to be scared and/or being threatened to hand over the bowl of sugary snacks, he would retreat back to his sofa and wait for the next group to show up, or, he would try to ignore the endless ringing of the doorbell and pray that the neighbourhood delinquents would refrain from egg-bombing the building. Again.

Instead, he was here at a masquerade party, clothed entirely in a green frog suit. He could barely see out of the holes in the head which were _supposed_ to be eyes of some sort. He squinted, trying to see through the people in hopes of finding Maya, whom of which decided to run off; Phoenix was betting that she went on a quest to devour the refreshment table, wherever she was. He could already hear the blood-curdling cries of a few hundred potato chips in the vicinity. How had he gotten here again?

"_Come on, Nick, it'll be fun!" Maya begged, tugging on his arm._

"_But I've got--" he started to argue._

"_Worry about it after!" demanded the young spirit medium._

"…_I don't even have anything to wear besides an old frog costume," he answered, paused when he saw the ecstatic look on her face, and then groaned in defeat._

Right. Phoenix stepped carefully between the people—not knowing who was who also made the place uncomfortable—he was particularly afraid of someone pulling out a knife and stabbing him because he stepped on their dance partner's foot. He tried to keep a search out for Maya…what was she even wearing?

_Phoenix buried his face in his hands, pondering how much of a mess this would be as Maya said, "I'm going to go as….."_

He now realized that that was most definitely a bad time to have divided his attention. He was sure she said something about her dressing as some movie character, and somehow he was sure it was going to have something to do with a samurai. He was sure he would find her; she and her behaviours were eccentric enough that he would know her anywhere.

However, Phoenix was somewhere in the middle of the room when something a little…interesting happened…

* * *

And that's the first chapter, folks. It's short, yes, but it's only the introduction, so what do you do? Hopefully it's enough to _entice_ the readers (I'm trying too hard).

Alright. I'll be posting the second chapter…soon. Within the next week at least as my goal is to have this all done by Halloween night.

Review, but don't be a jerk.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm going to admit right now that this chapter was actually written at 4:00am some time this past week. In fact, because I was half-awake at the time I wrote it I had entirely forgotten what I had written—when I woke up the next morning, I read this. I fixed up whatever grammatical/spelling errors I could find, laughed at my lame attempt at describing a dance, and then figured I should keep this as an example of why everyone should go to sleep at night.

I hope you all learn a lesson from this chapter. Admittedly, I didn't.

* * *

Phoenix stopped abruptly when he heard an announcement ring out through the room:

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming out tonight!" a man in a very gaudy-looking lion costume (it…was a lion, right?) stood at the very front of the room, microphone clutched in his hand. As he continued speaking, a slower, but comfortably swinging tune started playing in the background.

"We're always pleased with the turnout at this particular event, and we like to make sure you folks are all having fun so we have a little activity for you," he looked ridiculous doing it, but he gave an elegant wave, "we know that dance is a strong method of communication, though non-verbal, and so we put you folks to the test; silently find yourselves a dance partner and when we say, switch with someone—but remember to just enjoy yourselves…"

That was all Phoenix decided he needed to hear before he tried to break out of the massive sea of people trying to gather together again. His escape plan proved to be difficult to execute, however, as he was surrounded by crowds of people who reached over and around him to find partners. He finally found a gap through a couple of cave people, though, and tried to slip through there when he realized he was immobilized; following the tugging sensation on his thin, green sleeve, he turned to face a Greek goddess (it…was a Greek goddess, right?), the culprit behind his stationary position. She was a short and stout woman, chest more or less the size of his deceased boss's (how he knew that is a tale best saved for another day, however), and with a smile and a wink she had her arms around Phoenix; dragging him to and fro on the dance floor, he had no choice but to try to keep up, a pleading look in his eyes as he looked around the hall at all of the happy faces.

Of course, no one would save him from the beastly, touchy woman (he swore he could feel a pinch on his rump!) as they were preoccupied with people they wanted to dance with—Phoenix did not even want to dance, he wanted to be safe on the sidelines—how was it that he _always_ ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time?

A curse. Yes, that had to be it. Must have been that yogurt he ate when he was fourteen years old; the expiry date said November 3rd, but he still ate it on November 4th. Who would have thought that only a little over a decade later he would still be paying for it?

She grinned. Though she would not have seen it through his massive costume head, he nervously tried to return it, praying that she would not hurt him. She held on tight and twirled him most violently to the right and just before he almost had gotten used to spinning that way, she turned him the other way and twirled him around some more.

"…folks ready? Go find yourself someone new, now!" That was probably the most heavenly fragmented sentence Phoenix would hear all night. As soon as the Greek woman let him go—or he managed to pry himself out of her vice grip, whatever best fit the situation—he pushed through the crowd and tried to make a break for it. He could already see the war zo—_snack table_ from where he was, he just had to cut through Dorothy and a couple of her Oz friends (it…was Dorothy, right?) and…

Someone grabbed his arm, rather roughly, and he could not help but let out a high-pitched yelp out of surprise. He was already trying to think of a way to protest this dance while he was spun around to face his new partner, but froze in his place when his eyes were captured by the gaze of the other person's. The person in front of him seemed just as surprised as he, as their own deep brown eyes widened slightly while looking Phoenix over. This person's eyes...her eyes…were full of a sly confidence, sparkled in the light of the room, and he had to admit, they matched well with the suit she was wearing; cute tights, red shirt and vest, some kind of a deep red cape draped around them and a wide-brimmed hat with a large feather protruding from it…though Phoenix could care less about her appearance right now, what was important was the actions he chose next.

He did the only thing he could do—he instinctively offered his hand to the lady before him and she instead reached out, wrapping one of her arms around his waist while using the other hand to grab and hold Phoenix's. He admitted this to be slightly odd behaviour for a lady (perhaps she thought he was a woman?), but used his free hand to reach up and rest on her shoulder, hoping he had remembered correctly how to do this; it was not often he got to dance where he was not leading—actually, he never danced at all except the odd time in the office with his trusty broom, Sweepers.

Surprisingly, she was an exceptional leader, and he a good follower to boot! Their movements flowed gracefully and complimented each other as they glided across the floor, an odd twirl here or a turn there, and an aesthetic air was shared between only the two of them. Though not able to see each other's faces, they were still in their own world together as long as they maintained eye contact; they took in the atmosphere through each other's gaze, which was a fabulous feeling of warmth and comfort, and deep oranges, pinks, and reds swirled about them as they continued turn after turn…

Or maybe Phoenix was just getting dizzy. Whatever it was it left a warm, tingling feeling in his stomach, his heart rapidly beating in excitement, and the light-headedness was just enough to bear…

"Switch it up again, folks," came the lion man's voice again and the connection between the two of them was broken. However long they had been together, something about it almost seemed heart-wrenching as the two of them paused to look the other over again (if it did not mean he could be accused of being a pervert, Phoenix would wish he could see through costumes at that point), remove their arms from each other, and split apart. His lovely partner turned and grabbed the next person she saw, and the new partner Phoenix was sure was a woman—how he figured that is not relevant—but damn was he ever sure of it.

Phoenix himself did not grab another partner, nor did anyone else nab him this time. All he could do was jealously watch that woman disappear into the crowd with the person who had so cruelly taken what was _his _place not too long ago. He toed at the ground, a numb feeling spreading across the top of his brain and he wondered if he should have or should have not asked her for her name, whether they were supposed to be quiet or not.

"Nick! There you are!!"

Phoenix jumped at the sound of Maya's voice and turned around to face the Pink Princess herself…wait, what happened to the samurai? He learned a valuable lesson at that moment, and that was to pay better attention to his friends.

"Maya, where were you?" he asked, adjusting the head on his costume.

"Me? I was at the snack table waiting for you but you never showed up! Aren't you hungry?" she answered, tilting her head to the side. He shook his head.

"Uh…no. I got lost looking for you…" he would not even comment on the fact that they just ate dinner half an hour ago.

Maya laughed. "Psssh, you old folks are always getting lost. You're slow and forgetful and then you miss out on—oh oh oh, Nick, there's these cute little dessert things that look like…"

And Phoenix's attention was divided again.

* * *

I'm also going to confess to not actually knowing the eye colour of the "mystery" character. Pfftt, like it matters, just shut up and read it. 

Anyway – Michael from Black Scepter took a couple of stabs at my oh-so-mysterious pairing but he'd rather I not tell him if he was right or not. That being said, I'd encourage everyone else to drop their ideas off as well if they'd like—however, depending on how close attention you pay to me personally, it could be harder to guess than it really is (because the most "obvious" answer in the Phoenix Wright fandom is totally not obvious, if you get what I mean).

By the way, Kaira-chan's a jerk. Just thought everyone should know that.


	3. Chapter 3

_What happened to me:_ I've had one hectic week and I spent a lot of my Halloween night, in fact, working on my university papers. I did have time to draw something, which made me happy, but the whole week had been a real stressful one for me. Anyway, this is very late and I greatly apologize for it. I will make this brief:

1.) Kaira - I added the 'naruhobo' joke in this one just for you, haha.

2.) I'm not changing my story summary. Part of the reason why you read fanfiction is to find out what happens—as a reader, you shouldn't really know where I'm going with the fic anyway—only I should know. Predictable stories make crappy stories (generally).

This is getting long—I'll finish it below.

* * *

"Ha ha, Nick's got a girlfriend!"

"I—n-no, that's not it at all! You're not listening!"

On the contrary, Maya _was_ listening but she felt the need to bug Phoenix, if only because no one in the right of mind would resist making fun of him if they had the opportunity to do so. Her efforts were greatly rewarded by his explosive outbursts, of which whether he knew it or not were filled with never-ending amusement. She leaned across the table toward him, grinning a most devious grin as she stirred the cola in her cup with a straw. Phoenix was trying to look the other way and ignore her, but even with the great, blinding frog head on he could not seem to block Maya from his view. She was also giving him _that_ look—and how could anyone actually ignore _that_ look?

"What?!" he finally snapped; her grin grew wider.

"What's her name?" she playfully sang.

"I…um…" he winced as she suspiciously raised her eyebrow, "I…don't know."

Maya's eyes grew wide as she shot herself backwards into the chair, slamming her hands on the table as she did so. "What do you mean you don't know?!"

"I mean I don't know!"

"Didn't you ask—wait, you _forgot_ to ask, didn't you? I don't ever want to turn as old as you—"

"I'm not old, I didn't forget, and I couldn't ask!" He had failed to realize it earlier, but both he and Maya had managed to get out from their chairs and lean threateningly toward each other over the table as they argued. It was sad how he was supposed to be out having fun and instead he was being reminded of the courtroom wherever he was; he needed a new job…sometimes living in a box did not sound too bad—it sounded the least bit glamorous but at least it was better than working in the 'zoo'.

They were silent and stared at each other for a long time before both slumping back into their seats. Maya slouched over, head turned in another direction and slurped her drink loudly; Phoenix stared in her direction but had not really focused on anything in particular. He looked out at the dance floor and watched as people held on to each other closely, loosely, not at all, and smiled as they moved around the floor with such grace…except for that one guy on the other end of the room who just stepped on his partner's foot—dang, that must had been pretty embarrassing for him.

He looked back over to Maya, who had her head rested in her hand and had a bored look on her face. He leaned over the table toward her and cleared his throat.

"Did you, uh…want to dance a bit?" He raised an eyebrow a little in an attempt to look as bored as she obviously was. She smirked but did not respond.

Three promises of lunch dates, movie rentals, and some kind of samurai merchandise later, the frog and his Pink Princess companion were lost in the crowd of people together. They laughed as they showed off their random (but 'stylish') dance moves to each other, and the time passed in an oddly speedy way. As they danced, Phoenix could not help but glance out in the groups of people to see if he could spot his new lady friend. He saw feathers, and lots of them, but none of them were connected to that very fancy-looking hat.

Nevertheless, he enjoyed his time with Maya, even when he accidentally tripped her (or did she trip over him? He had not been paying attention) and she glared at him. Their energies changed with the tempos of the music, and they both admitted that it was too hard to perform individual dances to slower songs—in that event, they would make the exception of dancing closer together just so they would not have to travel to and from the seats at the side of the room.

The night went on, and as it did the goblins, ghouls, and hobos (real and not) started to slouch off of the floor, creating more room for random chaos to occur if it felt the need to. Though Maya had protested it (geez, how late did that girl stay up at night?!), Phoenix was just about to call it a night himself when the sight of a flowing, red cape caught his eye. His eyes went wide and he froze where he was; Maya had ran to his side and he reached, roughly grabbing her arm, pulling her close beside him and pointed out the figure in the middle of the room, still miraculously full of energy.

"M-maya, that's her!" he stammered. She blinked; he smiled.

"Um…Nick…?" Maya tilted her head to the side slightly, trying to examine the figure with great detail—there was something familiar about this person, but she could not figure out exactly what it was…

Phoenix looked at Maya worriedly. He was expecting more of a "Oh, _wow_, she's pretty!" kind of response from her, but…wait, he should not have even expected _that_ from her, no offence. Maya glanced up at him and then jumped, giving him _that_ look again.

"W-what are you doing?! If you like her, get out there and get her name and number!" Phoenix jumped as she yelled, and, without a lot of extra warning, Maya gave Phoenix one hefty shove forward. He nearly tripped over his own feet trying to recover from the shove, and he figured that his lady friend across the room noticed because suddenly a smile could be seen shining through her mask. Both of them stood still for a moment, and Phoenix started to take a couple of steps toward her.

Somewhere, he was not sure whether or not he should have been happy or worried, because she intently started in his direction to meet him…

* * *

Some folks have tried guessing pairings already, which is…ha, cute. I won't say if they're wrong or not, but things will come together next chapter, which I swear will not take nearly as long to dish out as this one. 

Sorry if this one was not as detailed and spectacular as the other ones (though chapter two _was_ an interesting read, no?) – my focus has been more prepared for chapter four for the past two-three weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

I took my sweet time writing this. I also had too much fun writing this, so I don't really care what anyone has to say about this chapter, haha.  
In short, this chapter will reveal all! Or not. I don't know, I just wrote it. Read it, laugh, and then worship me for it.

* * *

The two pairs of eyes locked on each other again as the two figures met on the dance floor. Phoenix smiled, and then nervously opened his mouth to speak. Not a word managed to escape him though, as his favourite dance partner snatched his wrist and spun him around with as much liveliness as had been done before, and before he knew it they were both back in full swing with one another. Though he wished he could have been the one leading instead (why did it always have to be _him_ being controlled?), he followed every command from their body movements obediently.

Keeping eye contact, Phoenix could hear the musical dynamics rise and the tempo increased as he started stumbling to keep up with his lovely's ever-growing complicated footsteps. He was fortunate, though, that every time he felt as though he were to trip, her hand on his waist was right there to either guide him along or be ready to catch him if he were to fall.

Maya was lost, entirely in awe of the sight before her. Honestly, she had not thought that Phoenix had lied at all, but she knew he would have exaggerated some areas—he was known to do that with lame stories sometimes, or so she figured. She could not help but look around at some of the people around her and then back at Phoenix and his 'buddy' in the giant hall and slightly tilt her head to the side.

"Nick…?" she mumbled, watching, and still trying to remember where she had seen this 'mysterious woman' before.

Phoenix smiled again, and, determined to find out who the lovely lady was, he gripped her hand tighter—and what a rather large hand it was! He was in the middle of trying to push it along so as to gain what he felt was his proper position of 'leader' when he saw the other pair of eyes turn fiery; she twirled him fiercely around again, and throwing both arms around his waist, his body roughly collided into hers. There was a split second where they stared at each other, Phoenix with a more confused and shocked expression than he would have liked, and his partner's a delighted (and quite seductive) one.

As if Phoenix's eyes could not have grown any wider at that moment, they widened more as she raised a suspicious eyebrow, and slightly pushed him away. She brought him close again, though with a bit more personal space—which had not bothered Phoenix in the least as he was sure that this lady's chest was…a bit more flat than it should have been. Not that he was looking (or feeling, for that matter), but somewhere something had felt a little…odd about her body.

He stole a glance at Maya, who blinked confusedly at him. He was expecting her to be doing something more along the lines of cupping her hands around her mouth and yelling to him, "You can do it, Nick!" or cheering him on in some other strange way, but she was not.

So, probably now would have been about the time for Phoenix to start worrying, but the thing was that he was too entranced by this new lover of his—was it even safe to call her that?

The woman in question then squeezed him closer again, and as she did so, a little white flower was seen falling from her costume. As it hit the floor, the answer Maya had been looking for finally came to her and she clapped her hands to her mouth, unsure of whether she should start laughing or screaming.

"_Niiiiicckkk!_" she hissed, as though hoping he would somehow hear her.

The next few moments for Phoenix were a bit of a blur, but went something along the lines of this: despite the strange body shape for this young lady, he allowed his own arms to wrap around her and, stepping in a way that felt ever-so-much like that cute couple from _Dirty Dancing_ (though Phoenix was sure they looked nothing like those folks from the movie), they both came to a very dramatic halt in the middle of the room, arms and legs wrapped around each other in some way (it would not be wise to ask about it, really).

Staring intensely into each other's eyes, they both simultaneously freed a hand, running it up along the side of each other's body and to the face where they hesitated. They then allowed the other to remove each other's masks…

Phoenix froze; Maya choked; Phoenix's dance partner…

"M-M-M…" Phoenix could barely get the name out, he was tripping over his own words, "_Max Galactica_?!"

"H-hey! You're that lawyer!!" an even more surprised Max spat back at him, looked around, and then quickly gave Phoenix a rough shove away from him. He fussily straightened out his costume and Phoenix was sure he saw a shudder course through him as he did so. Phoenix blinked, hot with embarrassment, and took a couple of steps backward. He was about to turn around and run back to Maya when a hand grabbed his wrist; he followed the grip, turning to face Max again, who shifted his eyes in a scheming way.

"You know…if you put the frog thing back on, we could make this good…" he muttered.

"What?! N-no! What…wait, what do you mean?" and Max leaned in to whisper possible suggestions, seeing as how they were already the centre of attention and had already pushing the boundaries of PG-13-rated dancing. Phoenix's eyes widened at the incredulous prospect and he backed away, screaming again, "WHAT?! No way!" However, Max kept a firm grip on him, grabbing the other wrist and holding him still to speak to him face-to-face.

"Sweetie, you're _not_ making this any easier…come on, I can show you a couple of _magic tricks_ if you'd like," he added a wink to sweeten the deal; Phoenix turned ghostly pale, and then stopped breathing when Maya leaped into the conversation.

"Magic tricks?! Can I see, I want to see what kind of tricks you can do, Max!" she ecstatically hopped about on the tips of her toes, apparently ignoring the fact that Phoenix was just in a 'romantic situation' with him only a minute ago. Max almost fell backwards himself this time, sputtering incoherent phrases while Phoenix buried his face in his hands.

"Maya…noooooo!" Phoenix groaned, and Maya raised an eyebrow suspiciously at the two of them. Before she could say anything else, Max embarrassingly hung his head low and stalked off, dismissively waving at the two of them.

"J-just nevermind, my sweeties! It's too complicated! Go have a nice night, I have to go back anyway!"

Maya began to groan and Phoenix grabbed her arm, head still hanging low.

"L-let's just get out of here, okay, Maya?" he asked, and she reluctantly agreed.

The End.

* * *

And that's your ending. Yeah, abrupt, doesn't quite grow up to the closure, but seriously, if I had kept going you guys would just get bored. Or I get bored writing it. My theory is that if _I_ get bored _writing _it, you guys are going to get bored _reading_ it. You folks understand me?

If you don't, then whatever. By the way, I don't want to hear _anything_ about Regina Berry in here. No, I don't dislike her--I quite like her, actually, she's so cute--but this was one of those...uh...y'know, _humor_ fics. Don't lie to me, I know you're all giggling at this. Jerks.

Review, please and thanks and I'll love you forever. Don't flame or I'll throw it back at you, and I have a good 'firearm' ha ha ha--I should be totally bricked for that one.


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